Information Underload

Since my husband and I found out we are pregnant with twins, I've been doing some research on books and applications for my phone that are twin-specific.  Yes, there are a handful of books out there with information about twin or multiple pregnancies, but I've been surprised by the rarity of the availability of these resources.  I found one app for my phone (on the Android market) that has a weight calculator for a twin pregnancy, but the rest of the information on the app is tailored for a singleton pregnancy.  I've found a small number of books online relating to twins, but mostly to raising them, not so much on the actual pregnancy.  My search continues, but if any of you out there have read a good book on twin pregnancy and/or parenting twins, or knows of someone who has, please feel free to comment below and share those resources with me.  I'd love to compile a list of books with reviews for this blog so to help other new moms of twins. 

Seeing Double: Our Unforgettable Trip to the Midwife

 (This post was originally shared on my personal blog on November 25, 2011.  Enjoy!)

 So, there I was, lying on my back in the dark little room, warm gel on my naked tummy, the ultrasound wand skimming across my pale skin.  Matt had run out to the car to grab a disc we'd forgotten so the sonogram tech could record some of the images she catches on the disc for us to take home.  She runs the wand in a quick swipe across my belly before placing it back in it's holder on the machine.  Standing up she says she needs to check something on her computer. In that quick swipe, I thought I saw something odd, but didn't think more of it assuming the oddity was caused by the way the imaged blurred across the screen.  It'd only been a few minutes since Matt left the room and we'd barely begun the half-hour ultrasound to check on baby's growth.  At 19 weeks, this was our first ultrasound of this pregnancy--different from our first two pregnancies during which we got ultrasounds between eight and ten weeks along.

Matt reentered the room and our technician told him he'd better sit down.  I thought that strange until she followed up with, "it may take us a while to get through all of this".  He handed her the disc and cleared my stuff off a chair by the bed.  Just as the technician was about to put the wand back on my belly, she held up two fingers.  My eyes grew big.  Matt said, "What?"  I echoed Matt, "Wait, what?  What?!"  He put his head in his hand saying he was going to faint--he'd previously said if it was a girl he'd faint.  "You faint?  I'm going to faint!"  It seems that my initial glimpse was true.  I thought I'd seen two spines.  "Yeah," said the technician, "there's two babies in there and I believe they're both boys!"  Matt looked up from his hand and with a deep, disturbed-sounding voice said, "What?"  Pause.  "Two?"  Matt had misinterpreted the technician's signal to mean "V" for, well...a girl.  It was funny for me to catch on, begin to freak out, and then see Matt's reaction when he caught on to the fact that she was telling us that we have TWO babies, not just one. 

 

Our TWINS! 

In the days, no weeks, leading up to our appointment, I grew more and more nervous.  I had NO clue what we were going to find out and I had no clue if we were having a boy or girl.  I kept thinking that we were going to find out something wasn't right with the baby, like that it was missing a leg or something.  As we sat waiting to be called back that afternoon, I was incredibly nervous, as prepared as possible for the unknown.  Or so I thought.

The technician had stepped over to her computer to buy some time until Matt returned because she didn't want to continue until we both were aware of the surprise.  As the news kept repeating in my head, I kept saying, "What?  No way!  What?"  And yes, I confess, a number of "holy crap"s found their way into my speech that day, but mostly, "Oh my gosh!  Oh my gosh!"  Over and over, "Oh my gosh!"  The wand danced about my belly, now pushing the cooling gel all about.  Our eyes glued to the screen, we were now anxious to see the proof of the latter part of her announcement.  Boys?!  As the gray tone images became clear upon each little baby's "area", the truth of it all was black and white.  There indeed ARE two babies and they ARE indeed both boys!  Stunned doesn't even begin to explain what we felt.  My choice word is "floored".  By now, my whole body was shaking uncontrollably, not violently, just noticeably.  "I'm shaking!  Oh my gosh!  Twins?!"  The technician said that was my adrenaline working.  No kidding?!  The shaking continued, then I began to laugh.  I couldn't look at Matt without laughing, so I tried not to look at him throughout the rest of the ultrasound.  It was difficult.

 

Baby A is Caleb and Baby B is Christian. 

Our periodic looks were like no other look we'd given each other before.  He and I had never been shocked like this before.  We were seriously floored.  From a moment after the real news hit Matt to the end of the ultrasound, he'd held my hand.  I'm so grateful for that.  It helped me feel a little more tied to someone, connected.  The stunning news had confirmed a reason for my nerves and lifted me to a place beyond explanation.  Having his hand in mine was a type of anchor, something I could hold onto in the midst of the chaos that I was feeling. 

We finished up the ultrasound, thanked the technician, and headed for the lobby with our little roll of photos and disc of images in hand.  Sitting on the sofa in the waiting room before my midwife appointment, Matt and I just laughed, stared at each other and shared our shock. We left there feeling so floored, so thrown off, so completely caught off guard, it was like no other time we'd experienced.

Telling our families was unreal in its own sort of way, too.  They all reacted with a similar sort of shock as we did, screams, stares of disbelief, and lots of, "What?"s.  So now, here we are, midway through our third pregnancy, preparing for TWIN BOYS of all things!  We've picked out names:  Caleb Donald (Donald after my dad), and Christian Matthew (after Matt).  Caleb and Christian.  Our boys.  Our boys.  Our precious baby boys.  Yup, I'm still working on getting used to it.  I can now imagine two little baby boys in car seats in the back of the van, but it is still so hard to believe that I've got two little boys sharing a space in my belly.  Matt's not even to the imagining part yet.  I don't expect him to be until delivery day.  Our wonderful technician that day said they appear to be identical twins, too, so we're curious as to how deep the "identical" part will show through when we finally get to meet them face-to-face.  This might add a whole new dimension to our new challenge of being parents of not only two girls, but also twin boys.  We are SO excited though, and cannot wait to do whatever we can to bring these boys as close to full-term as possible and deliver healthy babies into this world.  We are also scared yet flattered that God would entrust us with the responsibility of caring for two infants at once while continuing to raise our four-year-old and one-year-old.  What an honor, a privilege and a challenge.  Thank You Lord!  We're up for it!

What a Wonderful World...

(This post was originally shared on my personal blog on September 21, 2011.  I am re-posting it here to begin my new public blog, Turtles and Cheeseburgers.  I hope you enjoy and stay tuned.  God bless!)

Life is very different now.  This year has brought on such a dramatic change in my life and my families life, it is overwhelming to think of all the ways our world has shifted.  I am still very much grieving my father's passing, and I'm not sure if I'll ever not grieve for him, but I am still comforted by the truth of his faith and devotion to our Father and Savior, and thus his warm acceptance into a place of peace and health.  Since my return to Colorado in April (after my dad's March 27th passing) has taken on a whole new appearance.  In June, we celebrated Abbigail's fourth birthday, and (back in Missouri) my mom's 60th birthday.  In late July, packers came and boxed up our household goods in preparation for our move back to Missouri.  Matt officially separated from the U.S. Navy on August 1, 2011.  That same day we drove back to Missouri with my sister, Mindy and her husband, Bryan--our helpers in the move.  A week or so prior to our move, my brother, David and a family friend, Chuck also visited us in Colorado to pick up a few items we would need immediately in MO.

After our return to Missouri, Matt started his new job with his step-dad, Bryan, working as an assistant in Bryan's Snap-On franchise.  He enjoys the job, though we are looking for something a little more permanent that can utilize the skills and abilities he acquired in the Navy.  On August 25th, we celebrated Madison's first birthday.  She's such a wonderful little girl.  Petite she may be, but she is so smart and entertaining.  The most exciting and unexpected recent event actually happened the weekend before Madison's birthday.  On Sunday, August 21, I found out I am pregnant with our third child.  That same morning, my sister, Mindy confirmed that she is also pregnant (with her first child).  Matt was out of town at the time of the discovery, but due to be back that evening.  He was so excited when I told him over the phone that morning.  That afternoon, Mindy and I decided we'd both tell my mom at lunch.  We'd planned to go to the Olive Garden with a couple family friends, Chuck and his mom, Louise.

How we told her:
I had Abby come over so I could tell her something.  Whispering in her ear, I told her, "I want you to tell Grandma something, but you have to go over and tell it to her in her ear."  I said this because it was noisy and I wanted to make sure mom heard what Abby was saying.   "Go over there and tell Grandma in her ear that mommy's got a baby in her tummy."  Abby immediately pulled away and looked at me then at my tummy with big eyes.  "You do?"  "Yeah, now go over there and tell Grandma in her ear that mommy has a baby in her tummy."  Abby did as I said and my mom paused after hearing the message then said, "No she doesn't."  Then turning to me, "do you?"  "Yeah, I guess so.  I mean, I took a test and it said I was."  Her eyes got real big.  "You are?!"  Then a few moments later after the shock began to settle, I said, "And you know that other thing about how I'm always pregnant with a sister....?"  She just looked at me.  There was a big pause.  (When I was pregnant with Abby, my oldest sister, Teresa was pregnant with her twins.  They and Abby are exactly 6 weeks apart.  When I was pregnant with Madison, Matt's sister was pregnant with her little boy, Eli.  He and Madison are exactly 3 weeks apart.)   Mindy chimed in here after giving mom a moment to think about what I was saying.  "I'm pregnant, too," Mindy said.  Mom turned her head toward Mindy who was sitting to her left.  "You are?!  What?  Are you kidding me?  Is this a joke? (extending her arm) Somebody pinch me!"  My mom was SO shocked.  Laughter and shock was shared by everyone.  It was truly an amazing experience. 

Since then, I found out my due date is April 14, and Mindy found out her due date is May 2--two weeks and five days apart.  Ridiculous and amazing.  I am truly in awe of God's timing and blessings!  Matt and I want more children, but we didn't expect it to happen this quickly after Madison.

We are in such a strange place right now.  Matt's out of the Navy, working a new job, different than anything he's ever done before, hoping to start school in the Spring.  Abby is now four years old, attending pre-kindergarten here in Lee's Summit, and now enjoying children's church on Sunday mornings instead of playing in the nursery.  Madison is now a year old and walking (when she wants), and learning so very much.  I am STILL only five classes shy of my bachelor degree in English, hoping to get back to working on my memoir real soon, and praying for an interested publisher.  And now I'm pregnant...again.  We are truly excited.  We are, however, still living with my mom until we can get everything in order to purchase a home.  It can be difficult to do this when Matt's got such a new job, and, despite having a reliable job, to be honest, his income is remarkably less than his allowances and income were in the Navy.

Life is very different for us.  Amid all these physical changes, there are plenty of emotional and spiritual changes taking place as well.  For me, these changes are an affect of my dad's life.  My dad left such an inspiring legacy.  His life was God-centered and uplifting, despite his circumstances with cancer.  Cancer didn't define my dad.  His faith did.  This truth cuts me to the core with grief and love.  I miss him dearly, but I am SO VERY happy that he was my father, my dad, an important role model in my spiritual life.  I am SO grateful for him.

I LOVE the words of What a Wonderful World sung through the raspy, gruff voice of Louis Armstrong (as referenced in the title to this entry).  And truly, what a wonderful world this is.  Our Creator definitely knows what He is doing.  He gives us exactly what He knows we need when we need it.  This world is so crazy and amazing and beautiful.  Pain and love, death and life.  God is good, isn't He?  What a TRULY wonderful world, it is!